‘a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
This verse seems to tie in with our discoveries about narcissism.
To me, this verse may have taken 2000 years to fully be understood.
Blood is thicker than water.
One very painful lesson I learned, is that reaching out to the narc’s family, made matters worse. I firmly believe that there is a genetic element to narcissism, so they are more likely to be part of the problem, than the solution.
When I thought my MIL might sympathise, as it was an issue I knew she had experienced herself, I had reached out to her. It was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. It had ended with me finally accepting that the narc, (difficult as he was) was possibly less of a problem than his mother. We(The narc and I) had actually enjoyed relative peace for a while, as I had begun to understand, the disturbed environment in which he had been raised.
One advantage I have had, over many narcissistic abuse victims dealing with in-laws is, I had seen how they had treated a former brother-in-law. To my shame, I have since realised how close I had sailed to becoming a fully-fledged flying monkey myself. I am pleased to say their behaviour towards him (which had included a graphic smear campaign) did eventually backfire. Throughout my experience I have remembered the phrase from the bible about all that which is hidden, being one day revealed. It might not happen according to our timetable, but I have found there is great truth and comfort in this.
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.
When I started my blog, my goal was to help others experiencing toxic abuse, the same way I had been helped. However I am now reassessing this.
Fortunately I have always refused fo get involved in Facebook but I recognise Facebook is not the only platcorm with these issues
The Dark Side of Social Media
As a keen reader, I read the book 1984 with relish. The final chapters were particularly chilling. SPOILER ALERT!!
It turns out eventually that even the resistance to the despotic regime, is actually run by the regime itself.
I have an interesting take on those dealing with narcissistic in-laws. I mean compared to his family, my ex was an angel.I have now discovered more of their appalling behaviour, which occured during my move. Of course the narcissist enabled their disturbed conduct.
The narcissistic family unit is like a huge spinning vortex, which sucks in and destroys anybody in its path. Like the Borg on Star Trek, there are no truly individual organisms, they are all connected to some toxic master brain.
I know with certainty that the battle is spiritual. I would struggle with their machinations but in the nick of time, God would come to my rescue and send them packing-all I have to do is to be patient and wait.
Leading a double life is, to toxic people, as natural as breathing. Only occasionally do the two worlds collide and expose the truth. I have witnessed the toxic family sweep anything which did not fit with their image, under he metaphorical carpet. It is like some huge ocean however, momentarily there are ripples on the surface but in the depths beneath, nothing ever really changes.
Family members have been conditioned since birth to serve the collective and to subjugate their own will and inclinations. If one of them does start to wake up, they send out one of the more innocuous looking family members to bring their stray sheep back to the fold by posing as part of the resistance. Their only hope of escape is to find the one true shepherd, who gave his life to protect his sheep, Jesus Christ.
Yesterday I thought I had picked up a bargain. I was really pleased with myself. I got it home and did my research then sadly concluded it was a total fake. I was angry and upset with myself for the total waste of money. Using my imagination, I had then sought constructive ways to salvage my mistake. Sadly every time I view it, it now screams (metaphorically) ,
at me. Why?
Why am I so bothered by my innocent error?Why can I not just simply have fun with my purchase, regardless of its origin?
Unfortunately it is not the first time, I have fallen for a fake. Last time I was taken in by something fake, it was a fake relationship, which had cost me my freedom and had almost taken my identity. This time, at least I had recognised it. This time I had done my research and realised that it was not authentic, before the price was too high. Yes I could still use it (my purchase). It is still quite nice yet simply glancing towards it , somehow gives me a lurch in my stomach. The last time I tried to make the best of something fake, I had eventually let myself be convinced the fake was real. This time I am shrugging my shoulders, ignoring any short term loss I might experience and throwing it out.
One of the new toxic people in my life is trying to gain supply off me.I am going to use this as an opportunity to fine tune my grey rock skills. I have been praying whenever I anticipate an encounter with this being. I am playing dumb and observing them. It is interesting once you understand what is happening. Thank goodness I knew enough to be very guarded around this character. I sensed something, although I had initially wondered whether they were an empath gone awry. I have been an empath, who got off track, so I was inclined to be forgiving.
This was clearly a mistake on my part. I have had to pull right back.
I do miss my naive old self in many ways but I am grateful that I have been awoken from my slumber and shown the truth.
Eternal vigilance is the price of knowledge.