Songs About Stalking

Hammer Horror by Kate Bush

I will update this list as I discover more.

I Got You by Split Enz

One Way or Another ‘ Blondie I used to own this album. This was always a favourite of mine. I hadn’t realised the song was about stalking in my innocent teenage years.

My Sharona – The Knack A bit worrying that I used to dance to this with at least two future policemen. I hadn’t realised it but he is almost certainly my oldest friend. We were friends more or less from my first day at school to my last.

Somebody wrote in my autograph book, “Roses are red . Violets are blue. Roses are dearer by far than you.”I think it was probably the other policeman in my life.”

Really mean now I think about it.

What on earth was your problem? What did I ever do to you?

British Police Series Finale

I am being stalked by some guy from New Zealand with a company that makes neon signs, with whom I apparently must have once danced the Time Warp. He had announced his arrival in town with a creepy sign saying “Donut judge me.”

I really hope it is not the guy who showed up at my wedding as I used to like him. We had used to attend Friends of The Earth together. When he told me I was always smiling at my wedding, I think it was the nicest thing anybody has said to me ever! Mum was a fan of him.

I will state his name publicly and risk the consequences if this does not stop. I don’t care if you do have money. I was obviously right you are a Womaniser Britney Spears. I was bossed around by a man for twenty years. Don’t even think about it! In fact thanks for reminding me to buy coffee!!

Ìf Ì turn into a stalker then you can judge me. In the meantime I am going to continue to enjoy my chocolate too.

Perhaps ìf my teeth fall out you will all bugger off and MYOB.

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