My bowel cancer testing kit was posted to  me by my ex. It was anonymous but I know his writing. It had clearly been taken from my belongings which I had ready for my move in the backyard ny the raiding party he had sent in the guise of picking ip a last few possessions! I had kept the envelope so that the handwriting  could be checked if necessary! (I keep evidence and continually check my own judgements!)


It was a way of letting me know he knew my address. It was also a stick with which to beat me over the head.

“See you can’t take care of yourself without me!”That is his message.

They seek to convince you that you are hopeless without them

The police had suggested having them charged with burglary at one point. I held it in check as an option for a while for if they had started more of their nonsense.



Fat chance I would have had to do anything, even if I had a positive test, with them all playing their sick games.

As always they try to maintain plausible  deniability,


They seek to trap you in a double bind situation, It is a bit like when somebody deliberately moves a file. If you say anything you are being paranoid. If you don’t respond you will be told you are careless when the file cannot be located!One man’s or woman’s paranoid is another man’s careful and attentive!

Watch “How to deal with your narcissistic boss or coworker in the workplace. ” on YouTube

I tend to prefer the phrase,

“Dotting your ‘i’s and crossing your ‘T’s!

Our French teacher would tell us off if we sat around at the end of exams doing nothing. He had expected us to check, double check etc. I still struggle a bit in this area as I can be so particular sometimes. I can struggle to complete things but a lecturer helped me by using the phrase,

“Perfection is the enemy of done,”



I made a conscious decision for example that my blog was not going to be perfect, It is just me untangling the mess gaslighters have left in my head, particularly over the last two decades!

“Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!” Sir Walter Scott 1808.

This is why I have resisted computer apps etc designed to fix my mistacks.

My blog is perfectly imperfect! I have to do this myself!

For two decades toxic people have made me feel I had to be perfect. I don’t want to feel the need to be perfect any more!

If there is such a thing as INFJ perfectionism, it probably stems from abuse.

Exercise can you corect my mistakes. Well you have been doing it for decades so it should be easy enuff!


I guess I am 🍳 up a strom

I am modeling it is OK to mack misteaks just DONT MARRI THEM

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