Anticipate everything will be turned on its head and used against you. I find I am questioning my own behaviour constantly. Toxic people accuse you of things so often, I find I am questioning my own behaviour all the time.

Did I do what they said I did?

We do it so often that it frequently works. No victim of narcissistic abuse wants to admit to themselves, that anybody who purported to love us, could be trying to deliberately destroy us.

When I had been forced to clamber over a dog and then watched the dog be moved out of the way for somebody else for example, I had realised that I was just a source of entertainment, I had watched them try to teach my son how ro join in too!

My fury over the dog situation, will likely stay with me much longer than any blows I have endured.

People who I had thought loved me, had enjoyed watching me trip and fall!

I knew where my brother stood. I also watched them try to convince new people to join in the gaslighting, I had often asked myself what I would have done, to see whether I was being unfair and unreasonable!

For example if I had a problem with a neighbour, would I have assembled a posse? If my dog was blocking somebody’s way would I have sat there smirking. If I had known my friend had been beaten by her partner, would I have chatted to her abuser online? If I had seen a neighbour regularly walk down the street battered and bruised, would I have stood around chatting to her torturer?

That was and still is ny yardstick,

If I had known that there were people out to get somebody, how would I have handled it? Would I have sat back and watched or worse still joined in? I have only ever joined in a pile on once in my life. I was a child and I have lived to profoundly regret it ever since!

Would I read something online and join in with a hate campaign? If I feel something unjust is going on, I have spoken up.

A toxic person is what they are. Cruelty is second-nature to them but the people who join in to my mind, are infinitely worse! I am so scared of being dragged into people’s hate campaigns, I prefer to remain alone much of the time!

I spoke up about my ex and his family not to create a posse but to help people learn from my mistakes!

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