I have mentioned before. I had a ringside seat at smear campaign’s before. My ex father-in-law’s new girlfriend was smeared. Also my former brother-in-)aw was smeared, I had known what to expect to some extent, so I had tried like any good Girl Guide to “Be Prepared.”

Benny Hill – Chez les scouts

Unfortunately the name Baden Powell now means something quite different in Australia,

“Dib, Dib Dib Dub Dub Dub.

Where’s Akela?

Down the pub!”

I kept everything so I could self-examine and fix myself too.

Even so the smear campaign has ruined friendships and family relationships because people were prepared to believe the smear campaign I am an INFJ, I realise now there is unlikely to be any fence-mending either to be honest.

When you leave a toxic person, brace yourself for the worst. Tragically death at their hands may also be a very real possibility!

This is why I try never to tell people what to do in these situations. I prefer to tell my story and keep my records and allow people to make up their own minds.

All I will say is for goodness sake be careful. I had recognised he was keeping tabs on me, as he would It had taken me ages to get into going out and about again.After we had separated he would ring whenever I would go into town. Increasingly I had started to leave my phone at home eventually, as he had bought it for me and I mistrusted it!

Spyware & Smartphones

The latest symptom being added to the list of signs of narcissism is now paranoia. However I would argue If you are not a little paranoid in these situations you may wind up dead.

I have a sixth sense when I have hit the nail on the head. It is almost like I hear it!

I long for the days when I used to be able to walk around oblivious. In reality though my judgement was often trusted, even by people who disliked me. I cannot forgive myself for allowing myself to be fooled about my relationship. Toxic people often appear when you are heartbroken and vulnerable. I had so many men approach me in the period immediately following my break-up. Fortunately am suspicious of knights in shining armour these days. They can get back on their horse and ride off into the sunset as far as I’m concerned.

I have known Mr Concrete since he was 21 and I was sad he treated me the way he did. He had never had the guts to approach me directly about anything.

I knew my ex knew his sister, I did not trust her one bit. Her smile had never touched the corner of her eyes, My ex had known her previously. She had a lovely husband but I had known that she was untrustworthy. My ex had once referred to her as plain. My daughter had been virtually ignored by her last teacher at the previous school. Her daughter was the golden child of the class. It is easily done but I really tried not to do it. My daughter had used to let off steam by laughing with me about it, I had used to be fond of Mr Concrete as a young lad but his body language had changed and I suspect he had become a first class male chauvinistic asshole. Mr Concrete’s sister had no problem chatting to my ex flirtatiously in front of me. She was probably my least favourite person. She should have been happy he had a lovely,genuine husband and all the trappings of success but she came across to me as hard-nosed and bitter. She was another one who needed to have a ranking position on committees like my ex. I actually prefer Mr Concrete. At least I knew him once when he was still pleasant. She was always the same,

I read somewhere that large families are always dysfunctional. I had always thought it was like The Walton’s. My friends large family was dreadful to her. She was in and out of favour. I really liked one of her sisters and told her how much my dying friend needed her. She was with her almost continually till the end. She was brilliant. She would make her laugh. I nagged people to decorate her room at the hospice. Ordinary levels of decoration would not have been enough.

“Santa on steroids,”

She was my one true friend in Australia and I had watched her die! She was sick for so long before the doctor she completely trusted, had finally sent her for an XRAY and discovered her lungs riddled with cancer, She had loved her doctor. She went with me to her doctor following my assault and he had made a snarky comment on his report. Something like “She claims she has no other injury,” He had treated her for years for fibromyalgia. She had already had an emergency hysterectomy, as she was precancerous a few years previously, I saw her most days through her illness, We loved her on our street, Another neighbour with caring experience would step in at weekends. I like her but she was another one continually falling in and out of friendships, I was her person of last resort. She would continually cancel on me, I gave her more leeway than most as I had once told my husband something she had confided in me and felt terrible.

How to handle friends who flake out on you;are always late, don’t show up

My son was broken by people continually letting him down. Our kids had coped well with the drama of our divorce, so people had not realised just how bad and scary it was. Several times he had sat in the driveway revving the engine and being really intimidating. The only person who was there for us. was dying,

She was a grandma to my kids because one was in the UK and the other one preferred her pervert friend.

I miss her so much. I have been wondering about her personality type lately. Her stories were long and complex. My daughter followed them OK but I couldn’t always. My friend told me I could be brutal on occasions. I know I laid into her about how unwell she was once. Apparently her son had done the same thing. I was there from day one to the day just before she died, I saw her body with the tubes attached. I saw her wince in pain from her leg, She would sit there rubbing it all the time, I saw her angry eyes when I had finally let slip that final day that I knew she was dying, She looked at me like I had betrayed her by admitting she was dying.

That was her,

Es tu Brute”moment,

I got cross with her at times but she saved us, just about every really happy moment I have had in the past twenty years was with her. She bought round second-hand red dress she made me try on that I had hated once, She was always bringing me clothes and Nick nacks. Her best present was the Chtistmas stars fot our window, I bought solar light, He was frequently the Christmas Grinch but he had improved, I think the Christmas I had threatened to throw in the towel and abandon Christmas had helped! I had let go of my end of the the rope in the tug of war.



I was so happy having strangers keep their distance during covid.

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