I have been busy trying to sort out where my life went off track and who I can trust,
For me leaving the UK was a big mistake.
As for trust currently the answer to that is nobody,
If it is my annoying friend who betrayed me again, it can’t hurt ne as much as the first time, I anticipated the betrayal of my children at some point whilst they worked things out, As for my friends in a way they all betrayed me by never once checking up on me when they knew I was going through a marriage breakup, I would have been and was there for many of them, One in particular saw me in my raw shock at the very beginning of the break up and hadn’t even bothered to drop me a line,
The only person who kinda said she was there if I needed her was my best friend but she still seemed to get caught up with my mother and her nonsense,
Every last one of them let me down,
The sole person who had appeared to be prepared to fight for me, is now dead.
I still cry when I think of her struggling over to come and knock on my door.I knew however that her husband and sons probably leaned the other way, She knew the pain of betrayal, Her heart had been broken by her family too.
She had been betrayed by friends who had hung her out to dry,, Yet she had eventually forgiven friends and family and moved forward, I would argue she was better off without most of them. I told one of her sisters how nuch she needed her and bless her she had put everything aside to be with her. I worked quietly behind the scenes to get people to visit her but she had still been force‐fed cake on her final day, I had walked home in angry tears that day,
We all need people who will fight for and protect us in our hour of need, I remember one husband who has turned away people at the door when his wife’s father had died, I had thought of that enviously when I had been compelled to entertain immediately following hearing about the death of my father. I think it was the same chauvinistic guy who had raced me at eight months pregnant to a seat but he was there for his wife when she had needed him, She had also been one of the few people who had listened to what I had to say and actually taken her children to task, I had ended up being really fond of her daughters (one of them even wears Doc Marten’s which had endeared her to me.)
I wish I had joined her for the occasional fag on her doorstep now, I don’t even smoke.
Few things however have made me as angry as watching my friend on her deathbed struggle to eat cake to please people,
So now “friends”are perhaps waking up what I am being put through,
I am willing to bet that most of those who betrayed me are female!
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