My biggest mistake was attending therapy with him. Each time he had them eating out of his hand. I notices immediately the therapist was focussing solely on him, nodding their head supportively.
“Hey I’m over here. he’s been abusive and violent to me.” I thought silently as I watched bursts of steam, escaping from my ears. I had eventually managed to point this out, only to be shamed into silence, as I was told how great he was as he was attending counselling. It took me a long time to get the message. The trouble is when you have been abused you are not ready to turn on the charm.
I had watched in disbelief, realising I would get nowhere with these characters. I made the mistake of attending with his therapist on one occasion. huge mistake. The guy did not have a clue. he was totally hooked into the story of this poor guy with the dreadful wife. l had ended up voicing my displeasure and walking out in disgust.
Eventually I had realised I would get nowhere with these characters. With each attempt at therapy his act had become more refined. His eyes welled with tears as he announced that I just would not do as I was told and this “piece of work”, sorry I mean therapist had just sat there nodding sympathetically apparently fine with the idea I was supposed to do as I was told, totally spellbound. I have considered reporting these therapists, but my research into the subject seemed to indicate that there was no real body with any power overseeing anything so it woud probably be pretty pointless. By my final attempt at therapy with him,
The scary thing is the amount of power these characters have. A mediator attempted to bully me into attending mediation. These characters have way too much power. Therapists etc who deal with families where ther has been abuse need to be thoroughly trained. it seemed to me none of them knew anything about Cluster B personality disorders and I also felt they were biassed against me, as a migrant.
Interestingly I have since been contacted by a professor researching these situations and her ears pricked up when she heard the word migrant. It would seem she too had picked up a bit of a pattern when it came to migrants being trapped in abusive situations. My own research has supported this. I had read many accounts of women, living away from their country of origin stuck in abusive situations, unable to get help-faced with some very bleak choices. I could not believe how similar our experiences were. Some have to deal with the additinal issue, that they cannot speak the language. I came across am Australian woman living overseas who had appeared to be in that situation.
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