Trust

Please Remember Why Guilt Trips Are Worse Than Useless On Me These Days!

I was thinking about the people I trust today and remembering they were nearly all male. Funny thing for a feminist to say I know..,

Women have always said one thing to my face and another behind my back. Dad was not like that. Nor were most of the men I knew. I was woefully unprepared when it came to my ex. I was unused to two-faced men on the whole. I just expected it from women.

I wonder if men feel the same way about other men. I doubt it somehow!

No I have remembered I haven’t tended to like women and they haven’t tended to like me. I remember I could tell one of my son’s friends had a mother who had seemed on my wavelength. I can’t stand bitchy women on the whole. At times I have had to learn to fight fire with fire or they would have totally crushed me and the children.

I had a lot of fun at the expense of the woman who was laughing hysterically at everything my ex said for example! It was one time my youngsters were embarrassed by me, They had known what I was doing. I get that from my mother. She had mocked a few women privately to me when she had visited me here in Australia.

My father had felt sorry for my ex mother-in-law! He must have seen something I didn’t. Either that or he had been manipulated. I had genuinely liked my father-in-)aw. He was absolutely not a problem when he was with his girlfriend!

I don’t like affairs but most of the time I was secretly on his side. I had seen the difference in him. He was much less guarded. I still feel affection for him above just about anybody else in that family.

He is not sly.

As I have said before, he was not back with my ex mother-in-law for five minutes when my ex had hit me for the last time. I think he had deeply resented being forced to organise his mother’s birthday party by his sister. I had stopped trusting her after that. When my son had started mixing with her he had immediately developed issues too!

She works by using a lot of guilt. I have largely become immune to manipation by guilt these days. Nobody gave a rat’s a*&e when I was quite literally broken and bleeding on the floor so you can shove your guilt ploys. My son would come and tell me how poor/sick etc my in-laws were. I would then remind him that my own mother was managing virtually alone and she did not have a posse of people laying guilt trips on me. My son was always more vulnerable to the B. S. I never forgot she had got me hit! She had also upset her daughter with her lies at one point.

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