One of the happiest times of the entire pregnancy was watching my former father-in -law and my ex painting our house. I had been eight months pregnant at the time, He had shown concern about me bending over the sink washing brushes, ” His concern had been like rain in the desert, The day they had all started smoking around our baby son, when I had specifically asked them not to, had really been the final straw for me. My ex father-in-law had almost always been the most considerate.
I had been concerned about cot death.
Even when he was older he might be sick for weeks after a visit to their house. He is asthmatic.
I had been the one who had needed to nurse him back to health.
All I ever got out of my mother-in-law was,
“I hope it’s a boy.”
She had made cookies and I had loved them but her inconsiderate smoking around me and then our baby son had been a major issue. Absolutely everything from their house had reeked of smoke. Sometimes it would be so bad it would make me cough. Just from the smell of anything which came from their house. When I had left my ex briefly the best thing I had done was get myself checked out by a doctor. I had rung him to let him know where I was. He made no attempt to locate me and he was clearly not the least bit bothered.
The doctor had told me to get out the house before the baby was born.
I had used to sing This to him when my son was born,
I still get angry even now thinking about the way they had all smoked around him.My mother-in-law had leaned over our newborn on his cot blanket nearly dropping cigarette ash on him. I had felt she was intentionally doing it.
After they had smoked around him as a newborn I had insisted they came round our house to see him and smoked outside.
Smoking was never a problem when my ex father-in-law was with his new partner I had usually enjoyed our visits. I didn’t know what to make of her but she had never caused issues. All my in-laws said about her was that she was after his money. She had a really nice daughter. We had wondered who her father was, He had seemed genuinely happy with :The Other Woman”. I had told people that too. In retrospect I had witnessed the smear campaign against her.Just as I had witnessed it against my former father-in-law and brother-in law
So I had anticipated the campaign against me to some extent once we had separated.
When it was just the three of us painting the house, it had been a happy time. It was one of the happiest times in my entire pregnancy. I still look at a photo of that day and smile.
My ex couldn’t have cared less most of the time. I had struggled into the town to meet him and he had just left me sitting there waiting for him.
I owe that man absolutely nothing!
He pulled a McCavity any time he was needed. That day he was running around getting medicine for a neighbour it had made my blood boil. I really had made up my mind to go and visit the neighbours and get them to ask him if we had needed anything in the future. Mr Concrete had made zero attempt to be there for us.
I still cannot believe my dying friend had struggled round to see me. It broke my heart.
My ex knew me well enough to know I would really have asked the neighbours across the street for help if he hadn’t eventually stepped up.
Even he however had been genuinely devastated about our son’s whooping cough. It is REALLY REALLY REALLY SCARY
Everything changed when we had separated suddenly he was showing concern for the children’s medical needs!
I always try and check out what guys are doing for their own families. I wouldn’t dream of expecting help from a guy with a young family. My mum made it clear to me that “Charity begins at home.:
I was still naive back then but I should have knocked on a neighbour’s door to get them to ask him to take me to hospital when I was giving birth. He was most certainly not the anxious expectant father.
There was some kind of a bad vibe about our new home, it was a much less happy time when we had moved house. My friend and I had prayed for the covering of Jesus’ blood over the house, after my daughter was born and I had freaky experiences in it. I had innocently bought our son a plastic snake and it had started to creep me out.
I never really believed in the paranormal before that bl$$dy snake. I have mentioned before my daughter said she saw a black man in her bedroom as a young child.
Having a pagan friend helped me understand things a bit better. I had always prayed upon leaving the house. The one time I didn’t we were robbed! She had validated my whole vibe thing. Mind you my family had never really doubted me in that respect. They relied quite heavily on my ability to suss people out. I had not liked my brother’s second wife one bit. I had stayed completely away from that situation! She was way too flirtatious in my opinion at the time.