Some Startling Discoveries

The Narcissist  Unfiltered – The Devil unfiltered

Some days I was afraid to leave him with the children whilst I went to the toilet. I knew I would come back to uproar. He undermined me at every turn with the children  then would accuse me of ” underminding him.” The extra d is deliberate as that was what  he used to say.

The Narcissist  Unfiltered/ The Devil At Home by Narcissist Schmarcissists

I was scared for much of the time to leave the children with him. I really wanted a break but I did not trust him. My friend had just shown up and taken. the children to the duckpond one day to give me a break but I found I could not switch off. I was so used to having to protect them.

I guess I had learned to behave like a meerkat on sentry duty.

Stayin’ Alive

What Is Hypervigilance and How Does  It Relate to PTSD

Source: Brainline I also do not like to sit with my back to the door now I think about it. Keeping us safe was a 24/7 job. The minute I relaxed I knew something  bad would happen.

I know I have an exaggerated startle response but interestingly  I think he had one too. He would hate it if the children would jump out and surprise  him. I would use lavender and fill the house with prayer on occasions. I became quitegooat calming him until the family would start their nonsense again.

I found that losing it with him seemed to calm him more effectively  than cajoling him. I wonder now if it brought him back into his body.

Back To Life, Back To Reality- Soul to Soul

I learned how to manage him but it was hard and terrifying work and I never want to go through that again!
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