In Honour of Judith Durham

My favourite Seeker’s song. GEORGIE GIRL

I would love to have made it to Dutham University but unlike my daughter who made it into one of the world’s top universities I had not studied  hard enough. Full Tour of Durham City

Understanding the Geordie accent (The Geordie I knew had a lovely  soft accent. I notice he still does have a gentle, lilting accent.)

Understanding  The Geordie  Accent

Sample of  Geordie’s Having A Conversation

Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off Fred Estaire & Ginger Rogers

Another You – The Seekers

I  have picked up a few Australian expressions over the years.

The Aussiest Interview Ever. Grouse means great

I was made to feel it was UnAustralian to dob. My children were called dubber dubbers by my former mother- in-law. It is an unwritten law here that you do not dob on o mate. I  have never accepted this,

I feel Australians  should dob in a mate when it comes to

Domestic Violence, The Golden Child & The Scapegoat

Domestic Violence  Ad during Covid. I was so glad we had separated before lockdown, For me lockdown had meant he could not get to me and I could not be harassed by his flying monkeys. I felt safe!

I was so happy most of the time, He found it much harder to get to me through the children too. When lockdown ended I felt exposed again. Behind Closed Doors Toxic episodes for me were always connected with his job or his family. It would only take a phone call for him to become agitated. My ex could also cause extreme agitation with his phone calls it was like they were hypnotised, I don’t pick up the phone generally unless I know who it is. In our old house I had to leave the answering machine on. I made the mistake  of letting him ring the flat once, my son was yelling at me immediately within minutes.

He claimed that his family had been verbally attacked by the removalist I had paid the  removal is the next day.  I had been trying to get him to collect his stuff for years. I have the legal letters to prove it. Yet they all showed up to collect things on the day of my move. They went through my things. I know that because my ex had later freaked me out by posting it back to me. I eventually discovered the children had naively given him my address. I don’t know or care where he lives.

He offered to help me lease out my storage at one point. He has never stopped trying to organise me.

The scene in Sleeping With The Enemy which chills me the most is the one where she comes back and finds all her towels have been straightened. She reacts with sheer terror. I would say he had deliberately implanted that Berlioz tune, so he could terrorise her whenever he liked.

I had a towel thing but my goal was simply to keep things tidy so we would be safe. I tried to teach the children to leave their towels hung up in the bathroom as I had not wanted either of them to have to run naked through the house. There is so much sexual assault I had wanted to protect our children, My father only saw me naked when I was a baby. I wanted that kind of protection  for my daughter. My ex had deliberately  undermined my attempts to teach them to protect themselves. He had not let me give her the towel instead. He deliberately put his hand in the door to stop me closing it. All I could think about was my naked daughter,  so I shut the door, He had then whacked me for the last time. I had called the police for the second or third time that year. (He had me cowering in the armchair waiting to be hit on one of these occasions. The police attended but I had been calming myself down with a cup of coffee by then and I had trivialised the event.)

Sleeping With The Enemy Theme This is from Berliioz” Symphony Fantastique 5th Movement,

I knew if I made a statement in court I would be endangering us all. As it was when he came back from court he had immediately tried to whisk the children away. I was desperate as I knew he was dangerous at that point in time.

My actions had already caused a huge narcissistic injury.

People really have no idea about these characters, That much is clear to me.I had known if I let him take our youngsters that day I would probably never have seen them again. They would have been just another sad story for people to pore over and blame the victims. I had actually contemplated what they would say about me in the papers should have wound up a corpse. I could hear the he is a great guy but she was crazy and he was pushed beyond endurance plotline in my head. I still hear it. I probably always will.

I am aware  that as an INFJ my anger is a force to be reckoned with so I try to let it out in safe, hopefully productive ways. I told my son to try and find a productive outlet for his anger. I don’t mind him writing angrily about what an awful person I am if it helps him to process things safely.My Parents Are Aliens

Australian TV Shows from The 2000s

My daughter used to hope she said that she was like the girl in notorious and secretly adopted. The great thing is that our children felt able to tell me at least these things.

I didn’t realise till we read my reports together that we are far too much alike. I just hope she avoids my mistakes. In narcissistic family units the parents are perfect. I never hid my mistakes. In fact I think that the children believed all I ever did was make mistakes, which has worked against me at times.

My favourite family:The Middle Funniest Moments

Say what you want but the children are all loved and accepted for who they are and the parents adore each other. I prefer the Middle to Everybody Loves Rayment. I wanted The Middle but what I got was closer to Everybody Loves Rayment without the good bits. In fact I found Everybody Loves Rayment comforting. It made me feel less alone. I felt Rayment was pathetic. He let his family just take over his home and his mother is horrible to debra all the time. Who’s The Nutcase Now -Everybody  Loves Raymond

He is such a mummy’s boy. Raymond is the golden child.

Narcissistic Mother’s and Their Golden Child Adult Sons

Source:The Enlightened Target

This was the best description I have seen anywhere of this dynamic.

Robert is the scapegoat. I married the golden child. I just wondered if that was because he had nearly died of appendicitis. My brother was really sick when he was little. Mum even admits he was good at milking it. I tried really hard to ensure my daughter got her fair share of attention.

I am actually glad I was the scapegoat in many ways. It is less damaging than growing up hooked on attention like the golden child. I actually think golden children suffer more in the long run.

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