I found this information useful. However I find I prefer to take advice from a selection of channels, rather than slavishly follow a particular channel. Please feel free to do likewise with my blog. Take the bits you find useful and discard the rest.
Unlike many others in an abusive situation, I understood to a degree what was happening. I recognised I was being trained, I just didn’t know why. One advantage of being a teacher – I understood his tactics to a degree. So I would try different techniques to counteract them. If I have any advice at all, it is not to let things drift. Keep some form of diary. You start to notice patterns. Observe like your life depends on it, because it does. You may find there is a lot of truth in the adage, “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.”
If you cannot get out for whatever reason, try to keep some measure of dialogue going. In my situation I found it best to keep the dialogue going throughout but it wasn’t always easy.
For me it was like Fifty First Dates. We never made progress but if I worked hard, I could stop things regressing again to the point, where I was fearfully straightening jars in the cupboard.
In many ways a narcissistic abusers always seem to have an ace up their sleeve. Just let them think you don’t know, even if you do but as my old Guide leader would say, “Be Prepared.” They also manage to turn everybody against you in the process.I just used to shrug and walk away from those people too.
It says something that I haven’t thought about the cupboard scene in Sleeping With The Enemy for a while but it is useful to remember what it was like. In case I ever start to get nostalgic.
Most people tell you to run in these situations. I think that is great advice in some situations and downright dangerous in others.
Each individual must decide for themselves.
God has held my hand every step of the way. If you ask him, he will hold yours too.