Whenever I get a hoover, my brain is totally chill about not responding to it.
While we were still together, on more than one occasion, I had made it perfectly clear that OVER meant just that with me. Through my challenging situation, I never completely lost sight of who I was. If I have a style at all, being friends with exes has just never been part of it.
Whenever the beginnings of a sob story reach my ears, the things that help me get through it the most are:
(a) I had calmly explained that should we split, friendship was never going to be on the table. Sorry picky about my friends.(Shame I had not been more picky about my boyfriends/…)
(b) I had actually managed during the dying days of our relationship, to apologise for something I felt I had done wrong.
This is actually a good tip. You are unlikely to get anything honest from certain people but you can seize the opportunity to apologise for some of your mistakes. I did. I can’t tell you how much peace that gives me. Being hoovered at the time, I was able to slip my apology in, unnoticed. He must have been pretty committed to the hoover, as he had said it had not been entirely my fault.
Think that was the only time he ever had ever behaved that way in over twenty years together.
The topic of friendship came up again recently. Yes I admit friendship sounds the cool way to go but cool is not my style…
Many of my friends have been in my life for over thirty years and I love them dearly but exes NO.
“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance but with somebody else.”
I had totally forgotten Valentine’s Day. I did sense something weird in the air. Some good-looking stranger just flashed me an amazing smile. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated it but I am in an unusual place. I really do not miss a relationship right now. I’ve got the most important person back in my life, after a very long and hard fight.
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