The Upside of Anger

In my view anger gets a bad rap. This morning I wanted to write some deep and meaningful quote about anger, so I started to research.

I came away well…


I thought if I have to read one more self-righteous, sanctimonious quote about anger, well…

…I’ll explode.

In my personal life, I have tried to give people a safe place to be angry. My kitchen table became the place where people would arrive angry on some level but usually manage to leave laughing.

I like to think I was the one place women could safely visit, when they wanted to refer to “the love of their life” as an a’hole. I probably get this gift from my mother.

I remember my Mum cheering a friend whose husband had just left her, with the phrase,

“I wish he would take my old bu×÷=er with him.”

I should also add that my Mum once told me after Dad had died,

“I would not care how many cups of tea he made just for himself, or toffee wrappers he left lying around, as long as he were here”

It had reminded me that loving somebody, did not always mean we liked everything they did.

My friends knew it (my kitchen table)was the one place they could safely express their anger, without getting a lecture about how wrong they were to be angry.

At least I hope I helped them feel that way.

As with my mother, I seem to have the gift of usually being able to send them on their way laughing.

The first emotion I had to face at the end of my own marriage, was anger.

Anger may make other people uncomfortable at times but expressing it without turning into a caveman/woman, I would argue can be constructive.

Here Ryan Martin, who researched anger professionally makes the following observations (among others):

Source:Ted X Talks

For the 90 percent who probably won’t watch the video, here are some takeaways.(Seriously though he is entertaining as well as informative.)

Anger is a powerful and healthy force in your life.

Anger alerts you to injustice.

Your anger motivates you

It’s not only ok to be angry when we are treated poorly, it is empowering. Listen to what your anger is telling you and channel it into something positive and productive.

My children once told me, I am funny when I’m angry. My wise friend also mentioned I would have to work on my ability to instill sheer terror, once they hit their teenage years.

6 replies on “The Upside of Anger”

  1. When I hear the word Anger- I think of the Public Image Ltd. song “Rise” which has the lyrics “Anger is an energy, anger is an energy.” I agree anger gets a bad name. That said I am a bad angry person. I very rarely get mad but when I do it’s bad. But luckily I usually control my temper.

    1. I think there is quite a bit of legitimate anger around at the moment. I often find anger really motivating. I had to remind myself of the song. I just hear young men using their anger in a legitimate way, writing it into the lyrics of a song. I think the whole punk thing was probably born out of anger. I went through a punk phase but for me, heavy metal often used to speak to my angry feelings. I also remember Shout by Tears For Fears being quite therapeutic.
      Thank you for taking the time to comment. You have helped inspired my next post.

      1. I have read/ heard about athletes getting angry and falling apart due to it- but some can channel anger into positive results- they say Michael Jordan would manufacture stuff to get angry over- and if he was angry he was unstoppable.

      2. Good point on John Lennon. I have to wonder what would have become of John without the outlet of writing music?

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