Totally puzzled about what God has wanted from me, I think I have begun to understand. Me I am about facts and trying to keep it real.- Even more so since my experience of narcissistic abuse.

My son was asking me, when I had started believing in God. I realised I used to lie in bed at night and talk to him, even as a tiny child. He was surprised. I had never had to think about. I had always just done it.

There was one period in my life when I had decided I was an atheist but I don’t think, I ever really meant it.

My gift is that I am all too human. There are very few mistakes, if any, that I haven’t made. If you are looking for somebody to tell you the right way to go about life, you are in the wrong place. It is deliberate that I do not speak in a godly way. I try to say,

“God is here all the time.”

I get mad at times but I do understand God is unimaginably bigger than my mumblings.

Hey Guys. I am a lousy Christian role model. I get angry. Some days I wade through the lovely, positive words out there and well I come away a bit like Muttley.

Don’t get me wrong, most of the time I seek inspiration but every once in a while, I am definitely more


As you may have noticed Muttley has had his hands on the wheel a bit lately. I love Muttley all the same. He steps up when he is needed.

There is so much for which I am grateful but I am not going to chase my Muttley mood away. He is my friend and I love him at least as much as my other moods. I may as well make the best of him, while he’s here.

People are usually surprised when Muttley gets to take charge but he is always there awaiting his moment nonetheless. It is just that every now and again. I let him be the boss.

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