In my view it is not really possible to deal with narcissistic abuse without at least beginning to acknowledge there is a spriritual dimension to all this. Things I had learned from my alternative friend had really helped me understand. Too many weird things happen when you are caught in a narcissistically abusive situation, for it all to be dismissed as a coincidence. These toxic beings share such similar behaviours. In my experience, I was often attacked by people who had no obvious connection with the primary abuser. Things used to work in my life and then suddenly it was almost as if nothing worked. Once I made him number one, suddenly I was engaged in some mysterious struggle, with forces I did not understand. I eventually had very little choice but to lean on God. Time and time again his nasty little schemes had come undone, as God had stepped in. He, (the toxic being)had become wary. Even he recognised that he was not getting everything his own way. He had learned to tread a little more carefully. I liked to think he was becoming more content. We could go months without incident. Then something, normally related to his family of origin, would trigger him and our peace would once more be shattered. I removed objects from the house associated with the troublemakers and did a lot of praying. I worked on the philosophy that as long as we were having five positive experiences for every negative one, things were ok. Part of him was trying to break free from the dark forces controlling him, I am sure but he couldn’t quite do it. The point was made to me that whilst he had really seemed to relish the times where we were allowed to get quietly on with our family life, in the end he constantly enabled those who sabotaged it.
As it was pointed out to me, yes others were always causing mischief but he was allowing it to happen.