Source: Delta Goodrem https://www.youtube.com/user/deltagoodrem
Perhaps we all return to our roots eventually.
Source: National Geographic:
I thought this was a great message today after the murder of Eurydice Dixon.
In some ways it has similarities to the point I was trying to make yesterday about how everything seems to be blamed on victims.
Mostly the advice is “Run!” when you are dealing with toxic characters. Personally I do not think this is generally a good idea. It depends on how long these characters have been in your life and various other factors. It seems to me that current thinking and attitudes are not working. Too many people are winding up dead or seriously injured. I believe leaving a toxic person, is best and most safely achieved through careful planning and as much as possible, (initially at least) trying not to get the toxic person offside. If you can somehow let them believe it was all their idea, even better. As with a predatory animal, no sudden moves. I had several times through the process particularly early on, when I had felt we were unsafe. I only feel I can admit this now. I liked to keep him where I could see him and what he was up to. I did have hopes for some miraculous cure for his toxic behaviour in the beginning. This was a good thing for me (it may not be for everybody) as it gave me time. I needed that time to set me on the road to recovery from my PTSD and to begin to sort my life out. I had not really realised how much damage he had done, until I had begun to be free of him. I was both physically and mentally exhausted for quite a long while. I found a great counsellor(who had also experienced narcissistic abuse) to help me through my recovery. I went every week for about six months, then monthly. After about eight months I was able to stop going.
I didn’t worry about the money. I knew I had to recover in order to be there for everybody else.
I also joined Meetup.com and started rebuilding my social life and going out and about again.
Making me and my recovery the number one priority was the most important thing I did. Ultimately this helped everybody.
Today I write about a topic that I have tended to avoid – my family of origin. I have been unable to clear one particular relatively recent event, from my mind. I believe it was a deliberate act of cruelty by my brother, aided and abetted by my parent.
I had to manoeuvre my way past his huge dog to find a seat in the lounge of the family home. Nobody had attempted to shift the dog. I delicately picked my way past it, when I had needed to go to the bathroom. I had almost successfully negotiated the obstacle course which had been made for me, when my ex thought he would join in on the fun and yell out my name, finally causing me to stumble, much I am sure, to their delight.
I do not understand quite why I have suddenly become so furious about this. God stepped in, as he has done my entire life. I realise there is absolutely no point in tackling anybody about their treatment of me. I am quite sure they would be able to squeeze out tears and successfully recast themselves and the dog as victims. I am a dog lover myself but I do not believe my needs should have ranked below those of the aforementioned pet.
Gif sourced from Giphy.Com
This also resonated for me, for those of us dealing with predatory people.
Dana Kobilinsky, a science writer for The Wildlife Society, recently published a fascinating article. It concerns predatory animals appearing in seemingly ‘new’ habitats. The article tells the story of Brian Silliman: a biologist who was studying food webs in a saltmarsh on a Georgia island. While performing field work at night, Silliman had a frightening […]