Bali-Ubud
April 1992
Didn’t sleep too well last night. The minute we turned the lights off things started to rustle. My travelling companion and I managed to convince each other we weren’t doing it and then switched on the light.
Video about Ubud Town, Bali
Source: Lime Wave, https://youtu.be/wSxRfQMiI5o
Our concern had been heightened by the fact that previously my friend had discovered that some creature had taken a huge bite out of her soap.
From the size of the bite and the volume of the noises we had been hearing, we had decided it must be a rat*. We had tried to convince ourselves it was outside, but a particularly loud noise came from under my friend’s bed and caused her to scream and me to turn the torch on in alarm. My friend had been concerned it might be trying to eat her flip flops as well as her soap. In the end we decided to sleep with the light on. This had quietened Roland’s (our name for our unwelcome room-mate) escapades.

I looked at the SOAP bible study method for me as an INFJ it’s irritating.
We also were “treated” to band practice every day. A friend subsequently explained gamalan music to me, Perhaps my views were coloured by the fact I had apparently contracted giardia. The lady running the hostel would do her best bless her to, get me to eat.

Improving Indonesia’s water
I got a postcard from a friend who was in Bali, i guess I wasn’t worth a letter
It is probably a good thing I did not have a photo at the time,
The Ex “Boyfriend” Bonfire I burned all my letters and cards from my ex husband. I ensured it was safe and I kept my fire extinguisher at hand. I always have a fire extinguisher in my own home since witnessing the aftermath of my Aunt & Uncle’s fire. The thing I remember most was the smell. When somebody’s house had caught fire nearby here in Australia, I was so upset I had called my mum. I very rarely contact my mum when I am upset.

I do remember mum checking on me once when I was upset about an ex boyfriend. For me the biggest issue with my mother was the fact they had chosen to tell me the dog was being put down the day before my 18th birthday, I spent my 18th birthday crying so much I asked to go home from school. Being a mother myself now I see that as exceptionally cruel and unnecessary. The dog had been struggling for months and he had just happened to need to be put down the week of my eighteenth, My birthday was on the Tuesday and our dog was put down that Thursday. I know I would never knowingly do something like that to my own children, it scarred me for life. Nearly every special day I have ever had has been ruined in some way. I was determined nothing was going to ruin my daughter’s graduation. My own graduation was ruined because I had wanted to stay on to say goodbye to my housemate. My parents had just driven off and left me. I was not the one who didn’t say goodbye properly.

He was being led around by his well You know… at the time. I had still wanted to see him to say goodbye even though he had smashed my heart to smithereens!

All he had needed to do was say , “Goodbye” and we would probably still have been in touch today. He could have said something in his postcard now I think about it.
My Daughter’s Graduation
I would have even been prepared to pose for family photos with my ex. I have never been allowed to just feel special for a day. There is always somebody more important than me, I never want our children to feel that way, I thought it was a given that mothers wanted to see their daughters in their wedding dress, Nobody had really wanted to see me in mine. My ex had also come round and picked a fight with me the night before as well as on the day. If I had known then what I know now, I would have cancelled the wedding,(My perfect wedding these days would be like Phoebe and Mike’s, I think Mike is terrific.)

The Full Story of Phoebe & Mike That is exactly how I know my my annoying friend would have handled me. I already said I knew I had met my Waterloo.
Phoebe Changes Her Name
Mike knows how to handle Phoebe with gentle common sense rather than with bullying and manipulation.

My housemate was a big, powerfuly – built guy but he had never needed to assert humself physically. Like Mike he had used wit and common sense to get round me. That was why I loved him.That was a real twist.That conversation about Breakfast at Tiffany’s I knew meant he had actually outwitted me, pure and simple.The only person I have ever known who has managed to do that.
The postcard was the last I heard from him, till I wrote to him a few years ago.

I’ll Follow The Sun-The Beatles
Save Your Tears for Another Day – The Weekend
Shortly after college. That postcard had sat on the fridge for ages, despite the fact I was really mad at the sender at the time but time heals all wounds and I liked to look at the postcard. No truthfully I had something he had written. It was all I had.
I Go To Sleep Pretenders I have always loved this song.
It had made him feel closer somehow. I must have lost the postcard in all the moving about over the years. I never had a photo but then I have never really needed one, as his face was plastered all over the web.
I am learning gradually that you don’t really get that mad at somebody, unless you really care. I really cared! I was still thinking about him till the breakup of my marriage on some weird sub-conscious level. Once my marriage broke up my thoughts had become focussed on our survival. I had lost contact with almost everybody because I felt hardly anybody had been there for us. I didn’t even make a victim impact statement as I feared it might have inflamed him and gotten us all killed. He was really scary at the time because he had lost control. The only protection we had was an intervention order and the security cameras. All domestic violence victims urgently need security cameras. They should not have to go to McDonald’s, where they know there are security cameras, to feel safe. (This is what I learned several women were doing. When I felt unsafe.)

I texted people for prayer.
I focussed on getting our youngsters through their exams, whilst he focussed on trying to bring on court cases in the middle of their exams to cause maximum disruption. He had periods when he had seemed to co-operate for a while. My daughter had been able to convince him to support her with extra tuition. She had started going up to the city on her own, which had freaked me out at first. In the end she had achieved everything she had set out to achieve. She has always been like that. Right from when her brother had told her what skills she would need for school.

*We stayed in pretty basic accomodation in Bali. We were after all backpackers out for new experiences, although we hadn’t bargained on this one.
The Siberian Hamster-Fawlty Towers
Source:Fawlty’s Vault
Back To Bali
AAMI Insurance Company ran a brilliant series of ads about a woman named Rhonda. (I don’t mind admitting I am insured with AAMI.) They were so brilliant after our robbery. The guy had acted as an impromptu trauma counsellor as well as his official job. I had not even wanted to leave my daughter alone in the back bedroom. I had wanted to have alarms put all over it. (I am sure our former neighbours have missed us accidentally setting off the alarm.)
Rhonda had many adventures including a trip to Bali.
ps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCge7vgI4VKHf6iHTen6aEA
Check out countries my blog has reached here.

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