Toxic people like the rest of us, spread across a range. My research has led me to believe that I had been dealing with somebody almost at the top of the scale. This had totally shocked me. Looking back, I can see how this happened. God had been trying to get my attention for some time. The lessons had gradually got more and more dramatic until I finally got the point. Watching a You Tube video yesterday reminded me how I had tried to handle my predicament for years. I had eventually come to exactly the same conclusions as this You Tuber.
I had had a light bulb moment, realising these toxic characters are indeed very much like children/toddlers.
Two year-olds have a limited capacity for delayed gratification.
Waiting what’s that? You have to produce exactly what I want, exactly when I want it?
Struggles to communicate their feelings.
Feelings what are they?
Hearing he word “No” can send them into a full on tantrum.
What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is mine too. (Including your sense of self, your friends, your dreams etc…)
Becomes bored easily.
I need something new/somebody new to play with.
Short attention span.
(In the adult toddler, the exception is when they are talking about themselves.)
Struggles with object constancy,
If you are not there, you don’t exist or at least until they decide they need supply.
The pièce de résistance.
The tantrum-also known as narcissistic rage.
You have to give me what I want or I am going to kick and scream and throw my toys around until you do.
Yes we probably all have our moments. I know I do.
In fact I had been known to demonstrate a tantrum. I did the full on lie on the floor job once for the benefit of one of mine (who had either just had one or was about to start flailing around on the floor and exercising their lungs), whilst they had watched on mouth agape.
Hang on a minute. There’s something up here? Isn’t this supposed to be my thing?
It had a similar effect to my beer and cigarettes protest. I think I made tantrums uncool. It was amazing fun though-great stress release.
Yes I’m a big kid too. I like fun and every now and again I might even decide to take my ball and go home but fortunately, this is not a way of life for me and apparently my hissy fits are entertaining.
However these particular Peter Pans are more like Captain Hook.