My father used to say he felt like he was talking and no words coming out. How well I understand his frustration these days. I also know that there are some frustrations we will eventually miss. My poor father’s toffee habit was a constant source of frustration to my mother, as she followed toffee wrappers around the house. He died some eighteen years ago now and I am sure my mother would give anything to be able to follow that trail of toffee wrappers again.

I was reading non Euclidean’s Sofa’s blog again today, absolutely guaranteed to lighten my mood and I so understood where he was coming from.

Thank you Non Euclidean Sofa, I absolutely love your blog!(I have a horrible feeling however that had there been email when I was a student, I would have been one of the annoying ones, who fired off emails with no content and no subject in the middle of the night).

My alternative view of this reality is the film 50 First Dates. Perhaps everybody should have to sit through a half hour run down of our lives up to that point, first thing in the morning, so we wouldn’t have to continually rehash old ground.

I actually have developed the habit of writing a lot down. It is really eye-opening when you do this. I had a friend who kept a five year diary. We used to be room-mates, so she would often happily recite to me exactly what we had been doing on that day three years previously, two years etc. I did eventually start to realise that we had been here before. I have always had short term memory issues BTW so I developed coping strategies. Now I do not think there is anything actually wrong with my memory, it is just set up differently. If there are issues they are likely caused by stress and narcissistic abuse.(gaslighting)

Right now at times, I feel like I (and the more you study history you realise, also the world) am constantly running on that great hamster wheel of life and going nowhere fast.